Kelvin,Jesus beloved

Dear Heavenly father,

Lord I want to gave thanks for everything for you have done in my life.

I pray that lord you take love out of my life, leads my destined partner to her through happiness ,something which I am not able give or provide.

Although it my desire and dream for this prefect character to appear in my life ,but i want the best for her, I want to her live with with joy , living each day without joy and i truly understand that this can only be done by a prince charming.   

No doubt I desire and try to a prince , but this never prevail and is deeply buried as a fairy tale. So today Lord I made the biggest decision in my life, to let her go before we are rooted by love. Perhaps life without me , she can turly encounter happiness.

So lord, get my out of this misery which i pray and commit all this in the name of Jesus .. Amen….

I really appreciate what this wonderful woman have done for the family.Without her , most of things will not be possible.She is the main pillar in the family , supporting the family though the toughest time, would a words of complain.She’s sacrifice everytihng she could to maintain this family.However, it agonized me as some of the members seems to depreciate this selfless effort.What can I ask for me? To me, her contribution is to huge for me even to take on or even paid back.. My only hope is that i can graduate fast enough to support her retirement so that my beloved mum can enjoy her life well…

Failures and falls had installed the spirit of perfectionism in me. However, it snatched humanity away from me causing misery,weary and embarrassment.I began to worship myself, praising my success while escaping from failure.I became status conscious and arrogant, refusing to accept advice and defeat. ill impression was formed , and people’s perceive me as untrustable. It was only after numerous incidents which sparked me to reflect and to accept humanity. Perhaps the reflection and awareness has arrived far to late,leaving me with hurts and pains too huge for me to amend. I’m totally lost,like a trapped rodent trying to escape. I had become a stranger to myself without a sense of purpose and aspiration. Nevertheless, I mustn’t give up for humanity is the keys to healing.

That what i can explain my for behaviour now. Two years has pasted yet i still managing each day with a false firmness on the front while living with fear, anxiety and desperately behind closed door. Greeted by wound in the morning, disppointment in the noon while haunted by pain and misery in the night. Victories are short-lived disapperaing off as quickly as a shooting star. Success virtually evolve into a ultimate failure in split second, turning celebration meaningless.Puzzled and clueless living each day fulfilling my great dream. Shall surrender surface, it will be the conclusion of my life.

January is over and kelvin is suffering… His strength are drying.. He had no rest , no peace only to be indulge by trial after trial… His enemy is pushing hard, his man betray him.. Weary and haggard, he live on fear.. The only thing left in him is the faith in God, however, faith is fading, perishing and dying… What is his destiny? Who can rekindle the fire in him? Who can give him rest? Who can he put his faith on? Who will love him? Will he pass the trial and live to see victory? Yes?No?

WElcome to 2007!!! I am all ready for this new year… I am looking forward to carry all the great plan this wonderful year… Firstly, I will be graduating in March.Secondly, I am going to NS.. Actually I not ready for military life but not choice have to go.. Now just hope that my result will be good and finish NS then head to US for further Study.. Just hope everything will be alright this year..

Upon furthering my business empire, I grew strengthless day by day. Aimless continuation of the war has drawn away all my strength. How long must I fight to gain victory? MY troops are totally wear out and the remaining resources are scare. I am like a dying well in the dought waiting for the arrival of the rain. Any further persistence would resulted death.who can remove my weariness?Who can relinquish the hope in me? Will I be given one more chance to see the day of victory? Who can strengthen me? How can I build up the morale of my troops? Should I give up or continue this pro-long battle? I am wondering in a maze waiting for a someone to guide me to the right path.DEAR when are you coming back? I need you though my world is falling down. You are my source of portion, my comfort, my shelter and my every hope in time of need. I can’t wait to be with you till the very end. Only you can relinque my strength, filling up my dying well.MY ONLY HOPE NOW LIE IN YOUR HAND.

It has been 19years and I still don’t understand what is love about? It seems that to have so many answer and explanations to it. What is the truth? I’m totally blanked and confused by this profound mystery.. It seems so innocent outside but full of mystery and complication in the inside… How? I guess I would only complete my life novel with this prefect character.She is so near yet I can’t see her. I might had know her or we are once friend but we are never together.. Perhaps the time is not right or fate sets just apart.  As the chapters flow I yearn more for her ,with excitement like a desperate ring without an owner. How long must i still wait?? Day after days I search high & low clueless,like deer in a maze forest….My strength have declined and my soul was thirsty. should i must be give up? For I sewed this desire securely in my heart. Upon discover this long last treasure , I will fill her cup to the fullness removing all her sorrow and bitterness.She will be clothes with splendid symbolizing pure and white. I will ring her to be my beloved wife.. It will be a moment of rejoicing,like a king whom has crown his queen. They shall live happliy ever after.

  Hello….back again…. Too busy to busy…. work,study ++++ … Today kel feel so sad… Skip PE because i was too tired… Fabian n Bel wait for me @ clementi bus-stop…. During e jounery , Meet YL … don’t know why i meet her so many time each day… She tell her friend about me…. hmmm… Don’t know for what… Heard from Bel that is not a positive remark…. Hai… Now I avoid her wherever i go…. So.. Forget about it…Hmmm… score 29/30 for Account… La…. Well done… But have to work extra hard… Now… I back in workforce… So… have to manage my time well… just now hang out with QQ n friend… La… Now then understand that is all ppl have their own problem… So don’t alway think we r in worst condition but thank God… He is gd… Now going to sleep… Nites nites…

          I Like today… I woke up late n beginning e just another normal day….Butt>>> something turn out to be e another way out… Hafizah call me to wait for her to go sch together… Hmmm… It kel first meeting up a single gal to sch…. Not wanting to let her wake for me, I decided to take train but end up waiting for her for half an hour…. Haha… now i found my strong point, great patience… luckily saw QQ alighting and chat together … After hafizah arrival we came to a conclusion the we not going to attend OFA… so we end up at mac eating breakfast… Let me think…when is e last time kel eating mac breakfast… IT long long since ???? Well… we begin to talk nonesence but somehow I split out tea .. So pai seh …. Hai… lala… anyway enjoying until Bel reach then proceed to sch… Hmmm… must check mu heart eveyday talking abt YL… Hai… Luv sick??? But let me listen to what God say coz he never lie…. Hmmm… Have been avoiding more of YL… However, physcially avoid is useless… emotional, spiritual is also a must… Back to other thing… Dad give me $300 hmmm, just mention with friends in e afternoon , a pure luck or i simply can propheise ??? Haha kidding only…. anyway studying BFD test now … Thinking skill project also dueing tomorrow… Good luck SA!!! sleep early and wish all e best for e test… Thank God… Take care!!!!!!